Will they or Won't they?
by yajf2
Summary: Jamie and Eddie have been partners for three years. They've been through a lot, on the job and off. When Eddie is diagnosed with early on stage breast cancer, will Jamie's new attentiveness in helping Eddie make a full recovery resurface old feelings they thought they had long since buried or has too much time passed for the flame they had when they first met to be reignited?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, just want to put it out there for this story that, I'm not a doctor or a nurse. I have had a family member who was diagnosed with breast cancer, and like Eddie in this story the cancer was found relatively early and now thankfully my Aunty is in remission. What I'm trying to say is, I'm not very technical in this story and if I have got anything wrong, I want to apologise in advance. I do not mean to offend anyone who knows exactly what the process is to fighting and surviving breast cancer._

 _Also, like I said before in my other posts, I do get my inspiration from other tv shows as well as movies. So if anything seems familiar, that is why._

 _Read, enjoy and tell me what you all think!_

Eddie changed out of her patrol uniform and headed to Renzulli's office and knocked. Renzulli looked up from beneath his glasses.

"Boss you have minute?"

"For you I have all the time in the world. Especially because you're savin me from going cross-eyed reading this after action report. I don't know how some of you graduated high school with this kind of grammar."

Eddie couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh.

"Come on in, take a seat."

Eddie sat down and struggled to find the right words to say. She knew she would be ok but saying it out loud made it real and scary.

Renzulli frowned, "What's on your mind kid?"

Eddie looked up, "I need to uh….I need to ask for a desk assignment boss."

Renzulli frowned, "And why would you want to do that?"

Eddie stared at her boss for what seemed like an eternity figuring out the right words to say and what order to put them in when she decided it was probably best to just say it, "I have breast cancer."

Renzulli's eyes went wide and was stunned into speechlessness. Eddie could see the tumblers in his mind going a hundred miles an hour so she decided to slow them down with, "Don't worry boss, it sounds worse than it actually is, I'm not dying or anything. The docs caught it early and I've already had the tumour cut out so all I need is some radiotherapy and I should be all good." Eddie didn't know who she was trying to convince more, Renzulli or herself.

"Jeez Janko, you nearly gave me a heart attack, you hear the word cancer and it just sends a shock wave through you."

"I know the feeling," Eddie joked lightly.

Renzulli didn't laugh, "I'm so sorry Eddie. Is there anything I can do? Have you told Reagan yet?"

"If you could move around my shifts to accommodate my hospital appointments that would be a big help."

"Consider it done Janko, now what about Reagan?"

Eddie had hoped he would just let that lie, "No, I haven't told him and I don't plan on telling him."

Renzulli frowned, "Well, why not. He's your partner, don't you think he's going to get a little suspicious when you stop going out on patrol with him. I mean how are you goin to explain this to him without tellin him the truth."

Eddie shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I'll just tell him that I need a change of pace, that the danger on the streets is putting a fear in me that makes me want to ride a desk for a while."

"And you really think Harvard is going to buy that?"

Eddie chuckled lightly as she looked down at her wrung hands, "No, probably not, but it's the way I want it to be."

Renzulli shrugged, "Janko, I can understand you not wanting to mouth off about it to the entire precinct, but you're goin to need all the support you can get and who better than Reagan to give that to you."

"Like I said Sarge, it really isn't a big thing and I don't need Reagan to hold my hand through it." Eddie said with a bit more bite than she would've have like to have given her boss.

Renzulli's eyes softened, "Ok Janko, I may not like it but I'll respect your wishes. Nothing you've said will leave this office."

Eddie smiled softly, "Thanks boss, appreciate it."

Renzulli gave Eddie a tight nod, "Don't mention it, you just get yourself better, you hear me kid?"

"Loud and clear boss."

"Ok, now go on, get outta here."

Eddie gave Renzulli one last smile of thanks and a tight nod before getting up. Renzulli stopped her in her tracks with, "And I expect updates on your progress Officer Janko. Is that understood?"

Eddie turned and gave a nod, "Yes sir, wouldn't have it any other way." Eddie then turned and walked away. Renzulli let out a deep sigh, hoping that Eddie would come to her senses and tell Jamie the truth.

Eddie walked into Sullivan's bar where she had asked Jamie to meet her after their tour had finished. Eddie looked through the packed cop bar until she saw Reagan waving to her from a booth in the back. She smiled and manoeuvred her way through the crowd and was pleased to see he had already ordered drinks for the both of them.

"Hey, what kept you?" Jamie asked as he pushed Eddie's drink towards her with a napkin.

Eddie sat down in the booth, "Yeah, sorry about that, had some things to square away back at the precinct."

Jamie frowned, "What kind of things?"

Eddie sighed, "It's the reason why I asked you to meet me."

"And here I thought you couldn't get enough of me on tour today so you wanted to hang out." Jamie replied with a smirk and a smile.

Eddie gave Jamie a small smile, the sadness and loss finally hitting her of not being able to ride with Reagan for the foreseeable future.

Jamie's smile faded, "What is it? You're startin to scare me here Janko."

Eddie looked down contemplating whether or not Renzulli was right and she should tell him the truth.

Jamie laughed lightly trying to break the tension, "You're not dying or something, are you?" Jamie kidded.

Eddie's head shot up at that, cementing that even though she wasn't dying, telling him she had breast cancer didn't seem like the right thing to do for the moment.

Jamie's face fell slightly when Eddie didn't respond. Eventually Eddie let out a light laugh, "No, nothing like that. I just have to tell you something and I just…."Eddie closed her eyes briefly and sighed and then reopened them and continued with, "I just want you to see it for what it is and not ask too many questions ok?"

"Ok, now you're really scaring me. Eddie, what is it?"

Eddie sighed, "After tour today, I asked Renzulli for a desk assignment, he agreed and its effective start of tour tomorrow."

Jamie's mouth dropped as he looked at Eddie confused, hurt and a little angry, "What're you talkin about? Why…why would you do that?"

"I just need a change of pace, patrol has been wearing me down lately and I just thought having a desk job for a little while would help with that."

Jamie scoffed, "You look like my partner, you sound like my partner but you can't be my partner because my partner would never in a million years be happy about ridin a desk let alone volunteer to be assigned to one."

"I didn't say I was happy about it Jamie, it's just what I need to do. For the last three years I've had your back but with the mind frame that I'm in right now I can't do that anymore, well at least for now I can't."

Jamie stared back at Eddie and shook his head, "I don't believe you."

"What?" Eddie frowned.

Jamie just shrugged his shoulders, "You're lyin to me. What's really goin on with you?"

Eddie sat back faking an oblivious reaction to what Jamie was on about, "Nothing, I just told you what's goin on with me."

"Oh really, cause I know you Eddie and I know that there's something else goin on that you're not tellin me."

"Like what?" Eddie shrugged.

"You tell me."

Eddie closed her eyes, "Please Jamie," she the reopened them waited a beat and continued with, "I really don't want to fight about this. can you please just see it for what it is and accept it. We'll be riding again together before you know it."

"No, you can't expect me to see it for what it is when it isn't what it is."

Eddie pinched the bridge of her nose, "Jamie, please."

Jamie grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the booth. As he put on his jacket he said, "Just when I thought our trust issues were being resolved, you spring this on me."

Eddie looked up at Jamie with a frown. Jamie then took out his wallet, putting enough money to cover the drinks, "Call me when you're ready to tell me the truth otherwise I'm done." Jamie gave Eddie one last pointed glare and walked off. "Jamie, Jamie wait!" Eddie stood up calling after Jamie who powered through the crowd, never looking back. Eddie couldn't hide the pain on her face as she sunk back in the booth and slammed her fist into the table.

Next morning Jamie went into the precinct early, hoping to catch Renzulli, if Eddie wouldn't tell him what was going on, maybe his boss and friend could. It was so early that Jamie found Renzulli putting his jacket on in the men's locker room.

Renzulli turned when the door opened, "Reagan, what're you doin here so early? Tryin to get on my good side or somethin."

When Jamie just stared back at him, Renzulli sighed, "Let me guess, Eddie talk to you? Told you, she won't be on patrol with you for a while."

"Yeah, last night. Gotta admit kind of took it out of me when she told me."

Renzulli nodded, "Yeah, well that's understandable, had the same reaction myself."

"Can I ask why?"

Renzulli looked away as he put his bag in his locker, "She didn't tell you?"

Jamie gauged Renzulli, "Yeah, she did but my gut tells me there's more to it than what she told me."

Renzulli sighed and looked down.

"So, I was wonderin if you could tell me."

"You need to try to ask Eddie again Reagan."

Jamie shrugged, "I'm askin you."

"You can ask me til your blue in the face Harvard, you're just gonna have to accept what she told you as the truth."

Jamie shook his head, "I can't do that."

"And I can't help you kid." Renzulli said frustrated.

"I'm her partner Sarge, and have been that for the last three years. I think that gives me the right to know why she would rather ride a desk than ride with me on patrol."

Renzulli rolled his eyes, "Don't do that Jamie, don't make it personal when it's far from it."

Jamie scoffed, "It's not personal? Eddie doesn't want to ride with me anymore and it's not personal? I mean come on Sage, you didn't give me the nickname Harvard for nothing."

Renzulli scratched his forehead as he looked down, wanting this to end badly but knowing that Jamie wasn't going to back down.

"Seriously, what is it? She sick of riding with the commissioner's son. Is that it? she feel I'm holdin her back in her career or somethin?"

"Hey! That's enough. I'm still your boss Reagan so cut it out. You ride with Mckenna until I say different. Do I make myself understood?"

Jamie scoffed, looked down and shook his head.

"Understood?"

Jamie looked up, holding back his anger he replied, "Understood Sarge."

Renzulli nodded and let out a breath as he walked around Jamie and out the door. Jamie took his time changing, caught up with some paperwork and then on his way to roll call, saw Eddie walking towards him with apprehension.

"Jamie can we talk?"

Jamie waited a beat before replying with, "You ready to tell me the truth?"

Eddie just looked down.

"Then we don't really have much to say to each other." Jamie walked around Eddie when she spoke up, "What happened to giving me the benefit of the doubt?"

"Meet me half way and I will." Jamie then walked into the room, leaving Eddie behind.

Over the next two weeks, Eddie kept pretty much to herself, waking up, going to work, attending her radiotherapy appointments and going home. Jamie was keeping his distance and although Eddie missed him, she was the one who pushed him away and she was fully aware of that.

Apart from being a little more tired than usual and a little more blue, Eddie didn't feel sick at all. It was now the Friday of the second week of her treatment and her appetite had decreased making Eddie unaware that she hadn't eaten for most of the day. She was filling out a parking summons when everything went black for all of one second. Eddie closed her eyes tight and pinched them and when she reopened them all she could see were waves and black spots. Eddie took in a breath and then reached for her water bottle which she found to be empty. Sighing Eddie got up slowly, steadying herself on her desk, took a deep breath and starting walking slowly and steadily to the break room.

Jamie and Mckenna were back in the precinct, and Jamie was headed to the break room to have quick bite to eat before processing a collar they had just taken to the booking squad. Jamie was going down the corridor when he saw Eddie moving towards him from a distance. He debated whether doubling back and getting something to eat after his shift when he saw her stop all of a sudden, her arm shooting to her side to steady herself against the wall. Jamie frowned and started to walk towards her when all of sudden she collapsed.

Jamie's eyes went wide and without a second thought he rushed to her side, "Eddie!" As he crouched to her side, worry in his eyes, Eddie was still conscious and already lifting herself off the floor into a sitting position unaware of Jamie's presence.

Jamie grasped her shoulder, "Hey." He said softly. Eddie opened her eyes and blinked a few times until Jamie's worried face came into view. "You ok? What happened? Talk to me Eddie."

"I haven't eaten all day, feeling dizzy." Eddie all but whispered.

Jamie was taken aback as he frowned in concern and confusion, "You haven't eaten all day?"

Eddie just nodded slowly in response as she went to stand up with Jamie's help, "Since when do you, Janko go a whole day without eating somethin?"

Eddie moved slowly, making Jamie step out of her way, to the break room, "I guess I just forgot."

Jamie frowned as he hovered behind her, in case she collapsed again as she reached for the fridge, getting a bottle of orange juice and then, sitting down at the table. Eddie took a couple of swigs of the juice, the sugar within a matter of seconds making her feel better.

As Jamie sat down opposite her, he asked, "Feel better?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, thanks."

Eddie leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. Jamie waited a beat before asking, "Are you sick or somethin Janko? It's not like you to forget to eat."

Eddie opened her eyes as she sat forward and put the lid on her juice, "I guess I just have a 24 hour bug or something. I'll go ask the boss if I can have the rest of the day off." Eddie then went to stand up slowly. Jamie getting up too, going to her side to grasp her arm. "Here, let me help."

Eddie looked at Jamie and smiled softly, "I'm fine Jamie, really. Go on with whatever you were doin, probably have a collar to process?"

Jamie smiled back softly, "Yeah, I do but I want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm ok."

Jamie just looked back at her, not believing her words.

Eddie replied back more convincingly with, "Really, I am ok Reagan. I'll go clear it with the boss and then I'll catch a cab home."

Jamie waited a beat and then nodded, "Ok, take it easy then." Jamie replied as he let go of her arm.

Eddie simply nodded with a smile and made her way to the boss' office slowly as Jamie frowned in concern.

After his shift, Jamie sent off a quick text to Eddie asking if she was ok. Eddie received it while she was at the hospital awaiting her treatment to which she replied that she was all good and that there was nothing to worry about.

It was Sunday dinner at the Reagan's house and Jamie was staring and picking at his food.

"You've been awfully quiet, Jamie. Something on your mind?"

Jamie looked up at his grandpa and just shook his head, "No."

"Come on Jamie, I don't have to tell you that everything is fair game at this dinner table so come on, what's lost your appetite?"

Jamie just sighed, "I'm just worried about Eddie, she hasn't been herself since we stopped riding together."

Frank was cutting into his steak when he asked, "How's she coping riding a desk?"

"I don't know, I haven't really spoken to her much since she volunteered for a desk assignment."

Danny frowned, "What cop volunteers for a desk assignment?"

Linda spoke up, "Well you can't expect Eddie to be out crime fightin on the mean streets of New York City with the condition she's in and the treatment she's been gettin at the hospital."

Jamie's head snapped up to Linda, "Treatment? Treatment for what?"

Linda looked at Jamie as she stopped midway cutting into her steak, "She didn't tell you why she's ridin a desk?"

"She told me patrol was wearin her down but I didn't believe her. Did she tell you somethin different?"

Linda began thinking and treading carefully as she not only had Jamie's attention but the whole tables, "Eddie didn't tell me anythin, I've just been seein her coming in and out of the hospital this last week and out of curiosity I asked her doctor what she was in for."

Jamie shrugged, "Which is?"

Linda looked from Jamie to everyone at the table and then back at Jamie, "You really don't know?"

Jamie replied back with frustration, "No, I really don't know, so are you gonna tell me or not Linda?"

"If Eddie chose not to tell you, I don't think it's really my place to say anthin."

Jamie shifted in his seat, "Is it serious? Tell me Linda, please."

Linda just looked at Jamie, still debating whether or not to say anything.

Jamie waited a beat and firmly asked, "What?"

Linda sighed softly, "Eddie's been receiving radiotherapy for breast cancer Jamie."

All the Reagan family looked slowly from Linda to Jamie, stunned into silence. Jamie's mouth dropped slightly in shock as he stared back at Linda with an unbelievable look on his face as tears welled up slowly in his eyes as he tried to comprehend what Linda had just told him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jamie finally cleared his throat finding his voice, "Cancer? Eddie….Eddie has breast cancer?" Jamie's voice broke a little at the end of the sentence.

"I'm so sorry Jamie, I honestly thought you already knew."

"Is it serious?"

"Fortunately for Eddie, her doctor caught it in its early stages. The doc told me that she's already had the tumour cut out and will be having radiotherapy five times a week, to make sure all the cancer cells are dead and don't spread."

Jamie closed his eyes as he sighed and looked down.

"Eddie's going to be ok Jamie. And I don't know why she didn't tell you but I know she's gonna need you." Jamie looked back at Linda at that, "even if she doesn't think she does."

"Kind of gives us perspective doesn't it?" Danny voiced out.

Jamie looked from Linda to Danny questioningly, still trying to breathe through the news he had just received, struggling to keep the tears from falling causing his eyes to become red rimmed.

"that we never really know what's going to happen next and that maybe, just maybe we should tell certain people how we really feel about them."

At that Jamie pushed his chair from the dining table, annoyed, "I need some air," Jamie said as he dropped his napkin on his plate of uneaten food.

"Kid!" Danny called out.

Frank pushed his chair out, "I'll go."

Linda stopped Frank when she put her hand on his forearm, "No, let me." Linda didn't wait for a response, she just got up and followed Jamie out the front where she sighed when she saw Jamie sitting with his head in his hands on the front steps leading to the house. She sat down next to him, her presence recoiling Jamie out of his hands as he wrung his hands together and looked down at the ground.

Linda looked ahead to the empty street, "Never gets any easier."

Jamie just looked at Linda and without having to ask, Linda answered, "telling someone a loved one is battling a disease like cancer."

Jamie frowned, "Loved one?"

Linda just looked at Jamie knowingly. Jamie waited a beat when Linda didn't respond, "She's my partner."

"That's it? A man and a woman with guns driftin from one patrol to the next."

"It's enough." Jamie tried to sound convincing.

Linda looked at Jamie questioningly, responding quickly with, "Is it?"

Jamie scoffed and looked away.

Linda sighed, feeling as if she was talking to a brick wall, "I realise that this has probably brought up some memories of your Mom so if you ever need anything Jamie, all you have to do is ask, got a lot of people in your corner….in Eddie's corner too if she's willin to accept it." Linda gave Jamie a tight smile and then got up as she headed to the front door, she turned at her name.

Jamie was standing now too facing her, "Actually there is somethin you can do."

"What's that?"

Jamie waited a beat, before replying with, "Find out when Eddie's next appointment is and then let me know."

Linda looked down, knowing by doing that she would be breaking a dozen hospital regulations.

"I'm by the book too Linda when it comes to the job. I wouldn't be askin if it wasn't important."

Linda looked away and then back to him, "I don't know Jamie."

Jamie waited a beat sighed and then replied with, "Friday at work, I saw Eddie collapse, she told me she hadn't eaten all day."

"Yeah, loss of appetite is a side effect of the treatment."

"Eddie has let all this time go without tellin me anything, if I'm goin to be there for her, I need to convince her that it's ok to let me in to what she's goin through."

Linda nodded, "I'll see what I can do."

Jamie nodded back, "Thanks."

Jamie looked away as Linda turned to head back in the house when she stopped and turned to say one last thing, "Oh and Jamie?"

Jamie looked at her, "think about what Danny said. From where I'm standin, it kinda makes a lot of sense."

Jamie just continued to stare on to Linda, his face only falling slightly. Linda gave him one last tight smile and then went into the house, closing the door behind her.

The next morning, as Jamie was leaving his apartment to go to work he got a text from Linda, saying that Eddie had her first appointment of the week that afternoon.

Eddie felt worn out and full of fatigue as she left the hospital. Her body stopped her at the front of the hospital at the person leaning against his car, waiting for her in front of the hospital. Eddie didn't move, she just wanted Jamie to go away and not have to deal with this at the moment. Jamie pushed off his car, not caring that he was illegally parked and walked over to Eddie. For a few brief moments of just staring at each other, daring the other to speak that felt like an eternity to each of them Jamie finally spoke up with his hands in his jeans pockets, "When were you gonna tell me?"

Eddie continued to stare back at him, her mouth dropping slightly.

"I mean," Jamie shrugged, "Were you ever gonna tell me?"

Eddie closed her eyes as she bowed her head and brushed her brow, "No," Jamie frowned as he let her continue, "I mean yes, eventually. I just…" Eddie sighed as she let her hand fall and looked up to Jamie and shrugged, "I don't know."

Jamie just looked down as Eddie asked, "Renzulli?"

Jamie looked back at Eddie, "No, Linda told me."

Eddie frowned, "How does your sister-in-law know?"

"Come on Eddie, she's a nurse workin at the same hospital where you're gettin treatment. She was bound to find out."

Eddie chuckled lightly without humour, "I've been so distracted lately, that it never occurred to me."

Jamie just stared back at Eddie with a serious expression making Eddie sigh and go on the defensive, "It wasn't easy keeping this from you Jamie. But hey, what did you expect me to say? I've got cancer and it's stopping me from doing things that I love like being a cop and ridin with you."

Jamie nodded in understanding and waited a beat, "How did it go?" Jamie asked as he glanced briefly to the hospital.

Eddie scratched her head, "Uh, ok I guess. Doc said that I'm progressing ok so that's somethin."

"That's good to know." Jamie replied back, the situation getting awkward.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Eddie replied back feeling just as awkward.

"I didn't notice your car anywhere." Jamie said as he looked back at the street.

Eddie looked at him, "You need a lift?" Jamie asked with a small smile.

Eddie nodded back after a moment of debate, "Sure."

The car ride to Eddie's place was quiet, Jamie focussed on the road ahead and Eddie was looking out the window.

"Are you hungry?" Jamie asked.

Eddie looked to Jamie who still had his eyes on the road, she then looked down at her hands, "Umm."

Jamie side glanced Eddie, "Is your appetite not back yet?"

"No, it is, it's just that I'm uh….." Jamie looked back at her again trying to gauge where her head was at.

"I'm just really tired Jamie. I'm not really up to going anywhere."

Jamie looked away disappointed and tried to mask it, "Oh ok, that's ok. Maybe another time."

Eddie sighed, Jamie was making the effort to reach out to her so the least she could do was meet him half way, "But I am up for ordering some pizza and watching a movie at my place."

Jamie side glanced Eddie again, "Yeah?"

Eddie nodded with a smile, "Yeah, you in?"

Jamie smiled back, "I'm in."

Jamie and Eddie arrived at her place. "Make yourself comfortable Jamie, I'm just gonna go change."

"Yeah ok, I'll order the pizza." Jamie said as he got his phone out of his back pocket.

"Thanks, I'll have half….." Jamie cut Eddie off with, "pepperoni and half Hawaiian, yeah I know." Jamie said with a smirk.

Eddie turned and squinted at Jamie, testing him further with, "with a side of…." Jamie cut her off with again, "garlic bread." Jamie laughed as Eddie continued to squint at him.

"Ok, ok, I'm impressed hotshot, just order the food," Eddie said as she made her way to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Eddie changed, and just doing that made her feel more tired than when she left the hospital. After splashing some cold water on her face, she walked out of the bathroom connected to her bedroom when a wave of fatigue hit Eddie forcing her to walk over to the edge of her bed and sit down. Eddie took longer than she thought because by the time she was able to force herself up, Jamie was calling out to her, "Hey, Eddie! Pizza's here."

Eddie took in a deep breath, trying to shake off the way she was feeling and walked out of her room, making her way to the lounge where Jamie was already seated with both their pizza's sitting on her coffee table and a movie in the DVD player. Eddie sat down heavily putting her legs to the side of her.

Jamie looked at her face up and down quickly before grabbing a slice of pizza and trying to ask casually, "How're you holdin up?"

Eddie took in a breath and with a smile released, "Starving."

Jamie smiled back, pausing to admire his partner, "And there she is."

Eddie laughed softly, "Here I am."

Jamie broke the moment with, "Well, this pie and movie isn't goin to eat and watch itself so let's get to it."

"Ok," Eddie replied as she leaned forward to get a slice of pizza and Jamie pressed play on the movie.

About three quarters through the movie the pizza boxes had been discarded on the floor and both Jamie and Eddie had moved a little closer to each other without realising it. Both of them were slouched back, their heads resting on the head of the couch and their feet up on Eddie's coffee table.

Jamie was intently into the movie whereas Eddie was struggling to keep her eyes open, a few slow blinks later and Eddie had drifted to sleep, the weight of her head falling, landing on Jamie's shoulder softly, snapping Jamie out of the movie. Jamie's mouth parted in slight shock but he relaxed as Eddie's breathing became even and he realised that she had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but turn his head so that his lips brushed softly against Eddie's forehead. And all of a sudden, all the feelings he had forced himself to bury were beginning to float to the surface as his heart rate started to speed up. There was a reason, they had stopped hanging out as much and letting each other get as close as this, because both he and Eddie had made the silent decision to choose their partnership over anything else.

Once the movie finished, Jamie got to the task of getting Eddie settled without disturbing her. He managed to slip out from underneath her and lay Eddie's head down on a couch cushion. He then got the blanket that was draped over the head of the couch and gently placed it over Eddie's body. Jamie then turned the TV off and wrote Eddie a note that said, "Had fun hanging out with you partner! Call me if you need anything." He then signed his name, gave Eddie one last look with a soft smile and proceeded to make his way out of Eddie's apartment, grabbing the discarded pizza boxes as he went out.

Eddie woke up the next morning, taking a while to get her bearings. She then got up slowly, swinging her legs over so that she was in a sitting position. She put her hands underneath her thighs and bowed her head with her eyes closed, trying to gauge how she was feeling, silently grateful that it was her day off today. When she opened her eyes, Eddie saw Jamie's note, she picked it up and smiled.

Eddie busied herself most of the day with paying bills and chores around her apartment until it was time for her to get ready to go to the hospital. About an hour before she had to do just that her phone started to ring. She hesitated slightly when Jamie's name appeared on the screen.

Eddie sighed, then picked it up, "Hey Reagan, what's up?"

"Nothin much, it's kinda slow around here so boss is givin me and Mckenna an early mark."

"Well, that's very generous of him."

Jamie waited a beat, "Yeah, it is. Uh I was just wonderin if you have an appointment at the hospital today?"

Eddie could see where this was going but instead of saying no, she remembered how lonely going to the hospital alone could be so she answered with, "Yeah I do as a matter of fact, in around an hour."

"Feel like some company?" Jamie asked smiling into the phone.

"I don't know Reagan; It'll be kind of boring for you in the waiting room."

"Hey, I'm used to waitin around for you."

Eddie exclaimed in mock shock, "And what's that supposed to mean sport."

Jamie shrugged, "Nothin, just that I could probably process around ten collars before you'd make it out of the lady's locker room."

"Look who's turning into a comedian."

Jamie laughed, "Last chance Janko, I could be at your place in around half an hour unless you want to pay thirty bucks for a cab."

Eddie laughed, "Ok, ok. Thanks Jamie."

"No problem, I'll see you in bit."

Eddie nodded, "Ok."

Jamie and Eddie were now sitting in the waiting room. The elephant in the room making things tense between them. After a while Jamie and Eddie side glanced each other, awkwardly looking away and giving each other tight smiles when they caught each others' eye.

Jamie waited a beat sighed and asked, "So are you gonna tell me why you didn't want to tell me about the cancer?"

Eddie waited, searching for the right words and sighed, "I don't know, I guess I felt like we had gotten to such a great place in our partnership that when this was sprung on me…I don't know…I guess I just didn't want to complicate things between us again."

Jamie frowned, "Again?"

Eddie rolled her eyes, "Oh come on Reagan, we are the definition of complicated."

Jamie just looked back at her shrugging and shaking hia head, like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"The trust issues, threatening each other every five minutes that we were going to ride with someone else if the other didn't change their ways."

Jamie frowned, "Oh come on, every five minutes is a bit of an exaggeration Eddie and yes things were going well in our partnership but I think those trust issues are still lingering between us."

Eddie frowned, "What?" Eddie asked softly.

"Eddie if you trusted me, telling me about this wouldn't have been such a burden, it would've been a relief."

Eddie looked at Jamie and took in a small breath and let it out, "Trust had nothing to do with this Jamie. I just didn't want this to change or confuse anything between us."

Jamie shrugged and softly asked, "Like what?"

"Like things." Eddie replied desperately trying to not say exactly what was in her head.

"What things?"

Eddie waited a beat and slowly and unsurely replied, "Undefined things."

Realisation hit Jamie's eyes, "I thought we had pushed past all of that."

Eddie replied straight away, "Yeah we had. I just… I don't know it's hard to explain."

"We've been partners for three years Eddie and yes I'll admit I'm not exactly the best at expressing my feelings…"Jamie ran off, as Eddie gave him a look that said, 'understatement of the year.'

"but," Jamie said with emphasise to Eddie's reaction, "I can tell you that I'm not confused and I'm not going anywhere until your back beside me in the passenger seat of the cruiser."

Eddie squinted, "Passenger seat?"

Jamie rolled his eyes, "Let's just handle one thing at a time shall we?"

Eddie's squint turned into a smile, "Ok."

Jamie nodded with a soft smile, "Ok."

They were sharing another one of those undefined moments that they had apparently 'pushed passed,' when they were broken out of it, "Eddie Janko." A nurse called out.

Eddie stood up, "Yep, that's me."

The nurse smiled, "We're ready for you now."

Eddie nodded and turned to Jamie, "We good?"

Jamie nodded, "Yeah, we're good."

Eddie smiled back and then followed the nurse.

Eddie met Jamie back in the waiting room where she found him reading a gossip magazine, making Eddie smile.

"Catching up on the latest sex, drugs and rock and roll dramas are we Reagan?"

Jamie just rolled his eyes and hurriedly put the magazine down and stood up, "Just passin the time."

Eddie just squinted up at Jamie, "Mmmhm."

"Anyway," Jamie emphasized changing the subject, "How did it go? How're you feelin?"

Eddie smiled back, "Better knowing that someone was out here waiting for me."

"Was that appreciation? You happy I'm here Janko." Jamie partly kidded and partly said with sincerity.

Eddie paused and with a smile and sincerity replied, "Yeah, I am."

Jamie smiled back and with one movement, surprising Eddie, Jamie wrapped his left arm around Eddie's shoulders, to lead her out of the hospital, "Come on, hotshot I'll buy you some doughnuts."

"Yummy," Eddie replied making Jamie laugh as she leaned into Jamie a little more.

"Jamie!" A woman's voice called from behind them.

Jamie let his arm drop from Eddie as they both turned around.

It was Jen, who wore a big smile on her face at seeing him and as she walked forwards she said, "I knew it was you."

Eddie stepped slightly away and brushed some of her hair behind her ear as she saw that Jen wasn't stopping as she went in for a kiss on the cheek which Jamie gentlemanly returned back.

"Jen, it's been a while um," Jamie turned to Eddie who gave him a soft smile and then turned back to Jen, "How have you….how have you been?"

Jen still had a giant smile on her face as she replied with, "Yeah good, I've been doing good. How about yourself?"

"Uh, yeah good. Can't complain," Jamie returned with a smile.

Jen's eyes then turned from Jamie to Eddie.

It took Jamie a second of awkward silence to realise, when he exclaimed, "Oh, my bad you remember, Eddie."

Jen smiled at Eddie, "Of course I do, it's nice to see you again."

Eddie smiled back and politely replied back with, "Nice to see you again too."

Jen nodded and after a beat said, "Well, it must be a nice story to tell."

Jamie and Eddie looked to each other with a frown, confused. Jamie then shrugged, "Story?"

"About how you two got together, I mean from police partners to relationship partners. Doesn't get any more romantic than that right?"

As realization hit, Jamie and Eddie, they laughed and at the same time said, "Oh we're not….."But they were cut off when Jen's beeper started going off.

"Sorry, that's me, I've gotta go." As Jen walked backwards, "Take care of him, he's one of the good ones." And with a last smile, she ran off to the emergency where she was needed.

Jamie and Eddie were stunned into silence, not expecting what just happened to happen at all.

"So you're one of the good ones, Reagan, I never noticed before." Eddie said as she looked ahead of her with a cheeky smile.

Jamie side glanced Eddie with her a smirk, "Alright, laugh it up, get it out of your system."

"Maybe I should get her number."

Jamie frowned, "Planning on switching sides are we Janko?"

"No, I just think I need some advice on how I should take care of you." Eddie replied looking Jamie up and down with a smile.

Jamie rolled his eyes and turned to walk out of the hospital, "shut up Janko."

Eddie smiled as she followed behind him, "Are you still going to buy me doughnuts Officer Jamie?"

Jamie turned his head slightly, "Only if you promise to never call me that again."

Over the next week, Jamie accompanied Eddie to her radiotherapy appointments when he didn't have a shift overlapping with it. Eddie was hiding it from Jamie but her fatigue was getting worse. She tried to not let it affect her mood and with Jamie being more attentive than usual and spending more time with her, Eddie was even more tired of putting up a healthy front. It was the last session of the week; Jamie was waiting for Eddie in the waiting room as usual. Eddie finished up, swinging her legs over however taking her time to get to her feet.

Her doctor asked, grasping her shoulder gently, "Are you ok Eddie? talk to me. What're you feeling?"

Eddie had her eyes closed, "Nothin, I'm just a little more tired than usual." Eddie said as she looked to her doctor.

Her doctor just gave her an, 'I know there's more to it' look.

Eddie rolled her eyes, "Ok, ok, a lot more than usual."

The doc frowned, "Well, it is to be expected, but just monitor it over the next week and if it's still the same or it gets worse, we may have to see about adjusting your treatment plan."

Eddie nodded as she managed to get to her feet, "Ok doc, sounds good."

"No problem, is there someone you want me to call to take you home?"

"Oh no, that's ok. My partner is waiting for me in the waiting room."

After saying their goodbyes, Eddie made her way to the waiting room. Eddie's hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail and she was wearing, sweats and a zipped up hoodie. When she rounded the corner to the waiting room, Jamie noticed her weak form straight away. Eddie folded her arms across her chest and besides giving Jamie a small smile, she couldn't be bothered to hide how she was feeling. Jamie stood up, "Hey, what's up? You look weaker than when I brought you in."

"Can you just take me home please Reagan?"

Jamie frowned relenting, "Yeah ok."

Eddie just nodded and turned to walk out of the hospital, Jamie walking beside her, side glancing her every few steps."

The car ride was completely silent all the way to in front of Eddie place. Eddie sighed, she undid her seatbelt as Jamie jumped out and walked fast around his car, opening Eddie's door for her. Eddie frowned as the fatigue was now just pissing her off.

Jamie noticed this as he leant forward, extending his hand, "Here, come on, let me help."

Eddie was too tried to argue for her independence, grasping Jamie's arm and getting out of the car slowly, when she finally got to her feet, the weight of her body pushed her forward into Jamie's arms forcing Jamie to catch her by her elbows.

When Eddie finally got her bearing, she opened her eyes, Jamie's face only inches from hers, after a moment of staring and searching in each other's eyes, Eddie broke the silence, "I need to lie down."

"Yeah, I should probably get you into bed." As soon as Jamie realized what he said he started working backwards, "I mean…"

"It's ok Jamie, I know what you meant."

Jamie smiled back sheepishly and then nodded, putting his arm around Eddie's shoulders and helping her to the apartment.

Once inside, Jamie helped Eddie to the bed, turning it down and then pulling the blankets over her. Eddie's eyes were already closed. Jamie took a moment to look at Eddie as his hands lingered on her shoulders. He then walked away, stopped when Eddie spoke up, her eyes still closed, "Jamie."

Jamie turned, "Yeah, Eddie."

"Thank you."

Jamie waited a beat and then replied with, "Get some rest."


	2. Chapter 2

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Jamie was putting his and Mckenna's collar in a holding cell, "This is police brutality, I'm in love and you're arresting me for that?" Jamie rolled his eyes at the young woman, "No, I'm arrestin you because you assaulted a police officer." At this Eddie appeared next to him, relaxed, her hands in her work pants pockets and sporting a cheeky smile on her face, "What have we got here?"

Jamie turned his head and frowned and then as he locked the cell door asked, "What are you doin here?"

Eddie looked to the frustrated lady and then, waited for Jamie to face her, "Well, Mckenna just finished telling me the story of your latest arrest and I had to come see for myself."

"Seriously, after the tour we had today, he ditches me to have a gossip session with you."

Eddie shrugged her shoulders with a smirk, "What can I say? I'm just a great listener."

Jamie just shook his head with a matching smirk.

"So are you going to tell me what happened for yourself or am I to assume Mckenna's version of what went down as the truth?"

Jamie was about to respond but his collar cut him off, "I'll tell you what happened honey," at this Eddie raised her eyebrows and gave the perp a look to say 'you did not just call me honey'. However, the perp was oblivious and continued with, "I finally find my Romeo and next thing I know blondie here is arresting the both of us."

"Alright Juliet, you'll have your day in court but for now you get to cool off in this cell, while I get to be anywhere but here." Then despite the collar's loud protests, Jamie walked away with a frustrated sigh as Eddie couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she followed close behind him.

"Unbelievable is what this tour was. First we get called to a domestic which wasn't really a domestic but a single mom who was frustrated with her eight-year-old son for not cleaning his room and wanted us to put him in a cell for a few hours to teach him a lesson." Eddie laughed at that as Jamie continued with as they walked side by side through the precinct, "then it was one drunk and disorderly after the next and then to top it off Romeo and Juliet happened, she meets him only a couple of hours before we're called on scene. They're at her apartment where we catch Romeo fleeing the scene with Juliet's phone and laptop in his hands. Next thing I know she's outside now, pushin, shovin and takin swings at us as Mckenna is handcuffin the guy." At this Jamie and Eddie stopped at the entrance to their squad room.

"Sounds like you need a beer." Eddie said with a smile.

"Or several. You in?"

"Gonna have to take a raincheck there sport."

"Why's that?"

"Not really feeling up to being in a loud cop bar after my radiotherapy session today."

Jamie nodded in understanding as he masked his slight disappointment, "You want me to come with?"

Eddie brushed him off, "Oh no thanks Jamie, after the tour you had today, a hospital waiting room is the last place you're going to want to be."

"No, it's not. I've still got your back partner."

"And I thank you Reagan but you've been taking me nearly every session I've had this last month and you need a break, cool off and have some fun. It'll do you a world of good."

Jamie looked at Eddie, as if there was more to this than met his eye but Eddie was unwavering staring him down just as hard with a bright smile. Eventually Jamie relented, "Ok fine, but it's our day off tomorrow. We should do somethin."

Eddie squinted, "What do you have in mind?"

Jamie smiled, waited a beat before replying with, "Let me take you out, anywhere you want to go, anything you want to do in the city, we'll do it."

Eddie smirked, "So if I said I wanted to shop till we dropped, you'd do that with me?"

"Let's not go too far on the anything part. I'll do anything that won't put me to sleep."

Eddie smiled.

"So, is that a yes?"

Eddie waited a beat before replying with, "Ok, yes."

"Great, it's a date then."

Eddie's eyes widened with a smile, "I'm sorry what?"

Jamie looked like a deer caught in headlights as he began to backtrack, "I mean…."

Eddie smiled brighter, waiting for his response.

Jamie shook his head, "You know what I mean." And then walked away.

Eddie followed him with her eyes as she squinted in thought and curiosity.

The next day, after eating until their stomachs hurt and hanging out in the city Jamie and Eddie ended up at the pier that overlooked the water and city line.

"What are we doing here?" Eddie asked Jamie.

"This is where me and my dad go fishing from time to time."

Eddie frowned, confused, "That's nice, I guess."

Jamie waited a beat before finishing up with, "It's also where we go to think, to sort things out."

Eddie nodded, getting the gist of what Jamie was saying but decided to ease the mood with a joke, "So, I've just entered the inner sanctum of the minds of the famous Reagan men?"

Jamie laughed, "Yeah, something like that."

Jamie and Eddie then sat down on a bench on the pier with a view of the city. They sat in comfortable silence for a while until Eddie began speaking, the thoughts in her head, forming into words as she gazed out across the water, "You know something, we're really lucky Reagan."

Jamie averted his gaze from the water to Eddie, "This city never gets old." Eddie said as she smiled softly towards the city she had been born and raised in.

Jamie smiled as he looked back across to where Eddie's eyes had connected with, "Never a truer statement said Janko."

Jamie then waited a few beats before, side glancing Eddie subtly observing the faraway look she had on her face.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Eddie sighed as Jamie continued with, "Even though we're not ridin together at the moment, I'm still your partner Eddie."

Eddie's face faltered slightly, her emotions bubbling from the pit of her stomach, slowly making their way up to her throat, Jamie then shrugged slightly, "You can still tell me anything."

Eddie nodded her head slowly as she licked her lips, all her energy presently trying to keep the tears in her throat from reaching her eyes. This became more apparent to Jamie when Eddie began to speak after a while of silent contemplation, her voice deep and cracked, full of emotion, "This isn't easy for me to admit Jamie but I'm…"Eddie then took in a breath before finishing quietly with, "….I'm scared."

Jamie looked to Eddie as his eyes softened, waiting patiently for her to continue and get everything she was willing to say out of her system.

"When we're out on patrol, we can see the dangers, we can see the perps and the threats. We're trained to deal with that but this….."Eddie closed her eyes briefly before reopening them again, "…this cancer, I can't see it." Eddie shrugged her shoulders, "I haven't been trained how to fight it, I feel blind to it. And I know that I'm one of the lucky ones, to have had it caught early and I know deep down that I'm going to be ok, it's just that…I don't know…it kind of feels like this kind of spectre you know, this thing hovering behind me that I'm scared is never going to leave me alone."

Eddie's emotions were now in her eyes as her tears reflected against the water in front of them.

Jamie waited a beat before gently saying, "Eddie."

Eddie bit her lip before slowly turned her head to look into Jamie's eyes which were searching hers. They gazed into each other, Jamie was trying to build up to what he was going to say to convince Eddie, that he wasn't just saying it, that it was the truth, "You're going to be ok."

Eddie's eyes softened as she all but whispered with a shrug, "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're one of the strongest, bravest people I know." Jamie replied with sincerity.

Eddie nodded back, responding with a very emotional and drawn out, "Thank you."

Jamie gave her a gentle smile and small nod, as Eddie let out a breath and looked back out at the water. Jamie however kept his eyes trained on Eddie for a moment before looking back out at the water with her, and taking her hand and slowly interlocking it with his. Eddie's mouth parted slightly as she looked to their now joined hands and then to Jamie with a soft smile of gratefulness.

A few days later, Jamie had just finished a long tour and was about to change out of his uniform when his phone rang, "Danny, if you're ringin to remind me for the fiftieth time to pick up the chicken for Sunday dinner, don't because I just finished my tour and I'm about to do it now."

"The chicken's going to have to wait kid," Danny replied with a sombre tone.

Jamie frowned, "Why? What's up?"

"It's about Eddie."

"Eddie? It's her day off. What about her?"

Danny sighed.

"Danny what? What is it?" Jamie said, his voice beginning to show signs of worry.

"Eddie tried to stop a robbery in progress. The perp was about to shoot the guy behind the till when Eddie was able to disarm him. What she didn't know was the perp had a buddy with him who shot Eddie giving them a chance to flee the scene."

Jamie's mouth parted in shock as tears sprang to his eyes, "Tell me she's not….Danny is she…?"

"She's alive kid, she's in surgery now being patched up. Doc said that both bullets missed any vital organs or arteries and that Eddie should make a full recovery."

Jamie sighed in relief, "Thank god."

"She got lucky Jamie."

"Tell me you got the guys Danny."

"Yeah, we got 'em alright. A patrol car picked them up a couple of blocks from the scene."

After saying their goodbyes, Jamie didn't bother to get changed, all he could think of was getting to the hospital and seeing Eddie. However, that wouldn't be as soon as he thought when on the way to the hospital he got stuck in a major traffic jam due to a car accident. By the time he got to the hospital, he was told that Eddie was out of surgery and was awake and in recovery.

Eddie was currently twiddling her thumbs literally with her head down in her hospital bed when she was snapped out of her bored trance when Jamie stormed into her hospital room his anger getting the better of him, "What the hell were you thinking Eddie?"

Eddie frowned confused, "Excuse me?"

"You might think that what you did was heroic Eddie, trying to stop that robbery but it wasn't. It was stupid not to mention extremely reckless."

Eddie scoffed and replied back sarcastically with, "Please Reagan, don't hold back, say how you really feel."

Jamie's face flinched in anger, "You think this is funny?"

Eddie replied back seriously with a stern expression, "No, it isn't."

Jamie sighed, his voice lowering in volume, "You could've gotten yourself killed."

"But I didn't, I'm here, alive, currently taking crap from you."

Jamie waited a beat, his voice cracking slightly, subtly when he eventually replied back with, "You got shot."

Eddie bit down on her lip before replying carefully with, "Yes I did, twice as a matter of fact but with a .22, a girl's gun. I probably would've been worse off if the jackass shot me with a bb gun."

"You're supposed to be taking it easy."

"Jamie I have cancer, I'm not an invalid and besides me having cancer hasn't just automatically made me forget the oath that I took when I left the academy, the same oath that you took, to protect and serve the people of this city."

Jamie shook his head with anger as he scoffed and looked away, placing his hands on his hips. At this Eddie narrowed her eyes, her anger now matching Jamie's, "You're never going to see me as an equal, are you Reagan?"

Jamie looked to Eddie with a frown, "What're you talkin about?"

"You know what I'm talking about Jamie, you're never going to see me as a strong NYPD police officer coming into her own, you're always going to see me as some weak woman rookie, who is always going to need your protection."

"You know that's not true, you know that's not what I think."

Eddie brushed her brow and then dropped her hand, "Do I?"

"This isn't what this is about."

"Then what is this about!" Eddie yelled back, instantly regretting it as her gunshot wounds tugged on the stitches at her sudden movement. Eddie moved her hand to cover her abdomen to try to numb the pain.

Jamie instantly replied back just as loud with, "I care about you, you idiot!"

Eddie's mouth parted slightly in shock at Jamie's admission as she looked down, her mind going a hundred miles a minute.

Jamie sighed, "When Danny called to tell me you had been shot," Jamie paused as Eddie looked back up to Jamie's eyes, her eyes softening slightly, "for a second I thought that you had been…that I had lost…" Jamie then looked down, unable to express what had been going through his mind.

"Hey, Jamie," Eddie replied softly, frowning when Jamie remained with his head down, gathering his emotions. Eddie then sighed, "Jamie, please look at me."

Jamie looked up at Eddie, his eyes were forming tears however Jamie was refusing to let them fall in front of his partner.

"I'm sorry I scared you, really I am but I'm ok and I'm not going to apologise for what I did Jamie because I did what we were trained to do on and off the job, sick or not sick."

Jamie nodded, "I get that. It's just not easy seeing you lying in a hospital bed."

Eddie took in a breath and let it out, "Come here."

Jamie frowned slightly in confusion and then moved forward when Eddie extended her arms. Jamie didn't say anything, he just sat on the edge of the hospital bed and accepted the hug as he put his arms around Eddie's waist carefully as Eddie put her arms around his shoulders. After a few deep moments of embrace, they pulled apart slowly, their faces mere inches apart as they looked at each other.

"I should probably get goin, let you get some rest."

Eddie looked down, trying to mask her disappointment as she let out a nervous laugh, "Oh, ok."

"I'll come check in on you tomorrow."

Eddie nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Jamie then left Eddie's hospital room, stopping in the corridor, closing his eyes, letting the feelings he thought he had long suppressed bubble to the surface as realisation hit him that he was falling for his partner all over again.


	3. Chapter 3

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"This isn't the time to be ducking me Jamie."

Jamie moved forward to collect the darts he had just shot into the dartboard and said, "Leave me alone right now Danny."

"Not until you tell me."

Jamie turned and briefly looked at Danny sighing. Danny frowned pointing his beer to Jamie, "What's goin on with you?"

"I told you, nothin."

"In case you forgot I'm the only brother you got, so you might as well just tell me."

"That always going to be your line of defense to get things out of me?"

"Only when you stop makin it my line of defense when it comes to finding out what's goin on with my kid brother so come on, give it up. Tell me, what's got you all twisted up?"

"You really want to know?" Jamie asked with anger.

"Yeah," Danny yelled with frustration as he threw a dart at the dart board.

"I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm confused."

Danny frowned at Jamie's outburst, not expecting it. Jamie just sighed, closing his eyes briefly and sinking down on the bar stool while wringing his hands on the bar.

Danny sighed as he walked behind Jamie to sit on the bar stool next to him.

"About Eddie?"

Jamie nodded, avoiding Danny's eyes.

Danny squinted, his detective skills coming into effect, he then sighed when realization hit, "Something happened between you two didn't it?"

Jamie understood what Danny was implying by the look on his brother's face, "No, nothing like that." Jamie then sighed and waited a beat before continuing with, "It's just that the feelings for Eddie I thought I had gotten over are….they are…"Jamie then ducked his head and sighed, "I don't know."

"Jamie, talk to me kid,"

"No!"

"Why not?" Danny replied back with frustration.

"Because we don't usually talk about this sort of stuff."

"What is that? Like a new rule or somethin?"

Jamie turned to face his brother, "No, it's not but Eddie isn't just some random lady I'm getting closer too. She's my partner, who's a cop and you and I are both cops who happen to be the sons of the police commissioner. If I talk about it with you, it puts you in an awkward position."

"Ok that's ridiculous, you're my brother first. Whatever you tell me stays between you and me." Danny said as he gestured between himself and Jamie.

"Really?"

"Yeah really, so tell me what's the problem?"

Jamie turned his palms up like it was obvious, "You don't see the problem?"

"Kid, all I see is two people who really wanna be together but are both too bull headed to cut the crap and just do it."

Jamie just looked down.

"Does it feel like it will be a mistake if you go for it with her?"

"No, not at all," Jamie paused as a small smile flashed across his face, "it feels right, everything else just feels wrong."

Danny frowned, "Everything else? Like what? That even though you two aren't ridin together, you're technically still partners?"

"That's part of it."

"And what's the other part?"

Jamie hesitated before replying with, "If we try to make this work, I just don't want Eddie to look back on it like the only reason we got together was because of…." Jamie faded off, looking down.

Danny sighed and quietly replied with, "The cancer?"

"Yeah."

"You wanna know what I think?"

Jamie just looked up to his brother.

"I think that's just an excuse, an excuse for you not to be together because you're scared if you're with her and it doesn't work out, you'll end up losing her."

The tumblers in Jamie's head were turning at his brother's words as Danny continued with, "I'm really sorry that Eddie is going through what she's going through but maybe you should twist it happening to be a good thing, both the shooting and the cancer."

Jamie frowned, not understanding.

"See it as a really warped blessing in disguise which made you two finally wake up to yourselves and see what was right in front of you all along."

Jamie's lips parted, as he inhaled some air, thinking and letting everything Danny was advising him sink in. Danny gave Jamie a last pointed stare and then got up, patting his brother on the back, "It's just food for thought kid." At that, Danny then walked away to start up a new game of darts.

Two weeks after her shooting, Eddie was being released and was waiting in her hospital room, dressed and packed for Jamie to pick her up. Apart from a short visit everyday to see how she was coping, Jamie had pretty much kept his distance.

"Hey, Officer Janko, good to see you're finally getting out of here."

Eddie smiled back, "I've been telling you for the last two weeks Tom, you can call me Eddie."

Eddie's nurse smiled back at her. He was really handsome and sweet and had taken a liking to Eddie.

"I'm going to miss you, you perked my rounds up with your jokes and," Tom hesitated and then continued softly with, "And your bright smile."

Eddie couldn't help but blush slightly, "Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say, but it's a two-way street, you made my stay here a little less depressing."

"I'm glad I could help." Tom replied with a bright smile which Eddie returned.

He then waited a beat before stepping forward, "I'd really like to see you again…you know outside of this hospital. Do you think that would be alright with you?"

Eddie was a little taken aback replying with, "Oh, I don't know about that."

Tom then gently took Eddie's hand and got out a pen from his shirt pocket as Eddie frowned slightly in confusion, "Here," Tom said as he began writing on the back of Eddie's hand, "this is my number, give it some thought and call me if you change your mind."

Eddie relented, nodding with a soft smile, completely oblivious to the fact that Jamie was now standing in the door way, witnessing what was happening between Eddie and her nurse. Jamie frowned, his jealousy and protectiveness forcing him to step forward, "Hey," Jamie said towards Eddie in greeting.

Eddie looked at Jamie replying back with a soft, "Hey," as she dropped her hand from Tom.

"You ready to go?"

Eddie smiled, "As I'll ever be."

Jamie then turned to look at Tom putting his hand out, "I don't think we've been formally introduced. I'm Jamie Reagan," Tom nodded with a nervous smile as he shook Jamie's hand. Jamie then continued with as he looked briefly to Eddie, "I'm Eddie's partner."

At Jamie's slightly annoyed tone, Tom replied nervously with, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that Eddie was involved with anyone, if I did I wouldn't have given her my number."

Jamie nodded, "Don't worry about it."

Eddie was stunned into silence with a frown on her face at what Jamie was insinuating. She finally found her voice, "Oh no, he's just kidding."

Tom now looked to Eddie confused.

"Jamie failed to mention his title. Officer Jamie Reagan is my work partner."

"So there's nothing going on between you two?" Tom asked as he pointed between Jamie and Eddie.

Jamie replied, "Well, actually….." Eddie then cut Jamie off with, "No there's nothing, we just work together."

Tom frowned, not believing her however voiced up before he left with, "Well, you have my number, use it if you want to get some dinner or something."

"I might just do that." Eddie replied with a smile making Jamie roll his eyes.

When Tom was gone and out of ear shot, Jamie looked to Eddie, "You're not really going to go out with that nurse man are you Eddie?"

Eddie shrugged lightly as she picked up her duffel bag with a slight grunt of pain, "Why not? He's cute and sweet and thinks I'm hilarious."

"Yeah, well I don't like him."

Eddie scoffed, "Oh come on Reagan, this protective thing is getting a little old, don't you think?"

Jamie waited a beat as he rolled his lips together, "You think I'm being protective?"

"That or you're jealous." Eddie said and was now waiting for the denial to come rolling from Jamie's mouth.

Jamie shrugged, "Well, I guess I'm jealous then."

Eddie frowned, "What did you just say?"

Jamie ignored the question, trying to ease the tension with, "I also happen to be cute and sweet and think you're hilarious, not to mention smart and beautiful."

"Jamie what are you….."

Jamie cut Eddie's question off with, "I've been doin a lot of thinkin these last two weeks and I'm tired Eddie."

Eddie frowned, confused waiting for Jamie to explain.

"Tired of ignoring how I really feel about you."

Eddie's lips parted in shock at what Jamie was finally admitting to her. She then swallowed before replying with, "What do you feel about me?"

Jamie looked back at Eddie with a soft smile and then responded with, "What do you feel about me?"

"I asked you first Reagan."

"And I asked you second Janko."

Eddie closed her eyes and replied back with frustration, "Jamie."

Jamie laughed lightly as he put his hands up slightly in defense, "Ok, ok." Jamie then stepped towards Eddie until he was toe to toe with her.

"What I feel for you, I haven't felt for anyone else before." He then laughed lightly, "Yes, it's complicated but I think it's worth pursuing."

Eddie was still in slight shock, she hadn't seen this affectionate side of Jamie for a very long time and was finding it hard to form words to respond.

Jamie searched Eddie's eyes, waiting a few beats before softly asking, "Do you?"

Eddie looked down for a second, before looking up, her voice cracking slightly when she responded with, "I think you're confused Jamie." Jamie frowned at that, "You're not thinking clearly and I think that the cancer and my shooting has made you so worried and you're confusing those kinds of feelings for feelings of…."

Jamie shook his head, cutting Eddie off with, "I'm not confused Eddie. I feel like for the first time in three years of knowing each other, I'm finally seeing things for what they really are."

Eddie sighed as she closed her eyes, "Are you sure?"

Jamie waited a beat, his nerves beginning to make a small entrance again. He, however pushed past this and leant down, so that his forehead was resting against Eddie's, their eyes both closed and savoring the moment as Jamie moved his hands so they were resting on Eddie's hips, Eddie's hands moved in response to rest on Jamie's chest.

"I'm sure," Jamie replied softly.

At that Jamie and Eddie opened their eyes and as soon as they connected, they both leant in slowly, giving each other a soft, slow kiss, as if trying to let their feelings override the unfamiliar awkwardness of going from what they were, to what they wanted to both try to be. After a few deep moments, they pulled back before turning the kiss passionate and looked into each other's eyes. Jamie smiled as Eddie let out a light laugh and looked away briefly.


End file.
